In Just Talking the romantic ideal has a head on collision with the biological imperative. It’s not so much nature versus nurture as it is nature versus nightmare. Hormonal cyclones are extremely difficult to manage and emerge from emotionally and psychologically healthy. If 40 to 50 year old woman find the hormonal barrage of perimenopause to be overwhelming, what chance does a teenage boy have against the ravages of puberty?
Like many males, Brad, consumed with sexual urges and desires, feels frustrated and rejected on a daily if not hourly basis through much of his adolescence. In order to survive he finds it best to suppress his emotions. He is surprised to learn that the more detached and insincere he becomes the more successful he becomes in his quest for sex.
Brad’s silent mystery man persona won himself a wife, but did not win him an actual mutually satisfying relationship. After the birth of their first child he quickly saw that he and his wife’s goals of the relationship were totally different. The end of their relationship was pretty much baked into the cake with both his insincerity and her romantic images of relationship. Neither he or his wife were really prepared or willing to truly engage with each other.
Brad and his wife’s story if probably more common than we would like to admit. Neither the biological imperative nor the romantic ideal is well suited for life long intimacy.
lyrics
Just Talking 2/14/06
Brad was a man with mighty big plans that never got off the ground
He wanted love more than anything but ended up fooling around…..just chasing tail
She’s just talking……..Shut your mouth and open your mind
He thought she smiled at him
She wore that sweater again
She had her friends talk to him
The next day at school she didn’t even look at him
All those years he felt rejected, humiliated and confused
Took a toll on his emotions, his true feelings he withdrew……felt like a tool
She’s just talking
Paints her face, eggs him on
Giggles at his jokes and then flirts with Ron
Telephones but says goodbye
She gets his heart then screws his mind
By the time he got to college he gave up being real
He found he got more action when he played to seal the deal
Now he’s just talking……..shut your mouth and open your mind
Got them eating out of his hand, such a stud, plays to his fans
With a buzz on he seems like the man, so romantic says I love you on demand
Whispers I love you as he takes her hand
Got a job, got a wife, tried to settle down
After the birth of their first child her sex drive just wore down……life’s her child
She says he doesn’t share, she says he doesn’t care, complains he’s never there
…….soon they have an affair
She keeps talking he keeps walking …..further away
Any disclosure she attacks with shame, any tenderness she treats as a game
When he offers solution she says he doesn’t listen
When he says what he needs, she asks for more distance…..is it just resistance?
She’s just talking, he keeps walking
She keeps talking, he’s just walking away
credits
from Priorities,
released January 14, 2017
Bass Brad Turner
Drums Brad Turner
Vocals Jim Guido
Sax Jim Guido
Guitar Jim Guido
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