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Ambivalence

by GuidoWorld

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1.
It's Only Raining 04:28
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It’s Only Raining 12/29/89 When all is dark No stars in your sky As your will to live is fleeing The big sleep grows deep inside When the only heart that beats Is hurt and all alone The water rushes over Your struggling fingers feel the foam Oh, the storm cannot last Oh, the dawn is coming fast Feel the pain as long as you can For the emptiness is calling Reaching out a deadly hand Don’t fight the tears Let them fill your heart As they trickle down your cheek Out of the abyss you do start Oh, the dawn is coming fast Oh, your hell is going to pass It’s only raining Let those feelings in Don’t you close that door For no matter how it hurts You can always feel more Soon the night will end The birds will greet the dawn The storm will give way The darkness will be gone Oh, the dawn is coming fast The air, the birds, have come at last Now you got to feel what you can Staying alive, the dawn is now at hand Love don’t you shut that door Life is precious Raining, it’s only raining
2.
Slow Motion 03:28
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Slow Motion 7/27/04 My life moves along, so different quite plain It’s not what I deserve, it’s not a shame As I play with the sands of time, much to do with no real motion I’ve been here so many times, the familiar breeds such deep devotion I live life in slow motion, (you never know you never really know) I live life in retromotion, (you never know you never really know) I feel the awe surge thru my veins I store it all deep in my brain I love it all more each day I see the call locked in your gaze I crave the lonely life full of thoughts and sensations Feel comfort in natures laws and my own imagination I live life in slow motion, (you never know you never really know) I live life in retromotion, (you never know you never really know) My lungs fill with raw emotion, I’ve got to let it out, I’ve got to belt it out My pounding heart is feeling fine, as I climb my spirits rise Each day is crystal clear, the beauty of being here There’s no puzzle to unwind, just laughs, smiles and conversation I live life in slow motion, (you never know you never really know) I live life in retro-motion, (you never know you never really know) I know you see my celebrating I know you feel me celebrating Come now and join me, in celebration Life’s what we make it, celebrate it
3.
Polly Perverse 03:15
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Polly Perverse 12/4/04 Polly wants no cracker – likes black against white sheets No Afrikaner – an island man is what she seek Polly want no cracker – just a savage to quell her needs A real man to fill her – to put some rose in her cheek It’s just, its just she wants a sensual life She’s just a ripened fruit – longing to be bite Juices dripping on the floor – mirror her delight Wants to be vulnerable be split by the knife Polly wants no cracker – no boring man of substantial means No overachiever – just a man who wants her to feel Polly want no cracker – but a caring hand to set her free A real man to fill her – to put some rose in her cheek She just, she just wants to feel alive Feel her body quake in orgasmic might Her body is the language she uses to describe Her world of feeling where everything is alright Polly wants no cracker – no man of dignity A man of passion in love with her body Polly want no cracker – no wooden toy afraid to bleed A man of action – looking to please Polly perverse, moaning Polly perverse, glowing
4.
The New World 03:07
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The New World 12/10/2000 Where have you been today? I haven’t seen much to say I don’t know where it’s going I don’t know if I’m into the light I sense confusion is leading me is deceiving me The thrill of motion is teasing me, is appeasing me My heart is pounding stuck on the floor So revved up just go and go All’s endless action there’s no reprieve Infinite information lights up the screen I’m running far but I know it’s not true My breath on fire gives me the clue The warmth on my back is it really you The glance in the mirror slides into the blue Light gives me vision, sound is the cure Nothing is for certain in this brave new world Senses are heightened life is a blur A mountain of seduction that’s for sure I ride the wave cresting so high There’s no earth just sky after sky I feel a pulse throbbing me blind Time is a creature no longer alive It’s a brave new world Welcome to the new world
5.
Mardi Gras 02:50
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Mardi Gras 3/18/02 I once loved a girl from Alabama Though I wasn’t family in the southern way We made love on sandy beaches Though the sea was miles away They don’t really, really love you They just applaud to feel amused Tomorrow evening they’ll adore someone different Some sad eyed cracker who can sing the blues Feeling dizzy past my second mutation Perhaps it’s just the flu Paisley prints are an odd obsession But they flatter you A cloud of lust and some rare phantasms “Made the flick,“ the critics swooned A patch of flesh in strained orgasm Put the viewers in an Oscar mood A simple boy who loved his mother Saw his dad with a giggler nude When his hormones danced inside him He struggled vainly to stay true He went crazy when he heard her coming Right thru the walls No one could really blame him When he broke the law
6.
Hold On 04:57
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Hold On 12/2/04 Thoughts flow like satin as the evening comes Good things do happen in the soft glow of dusk Sunset spills its light like honey Into the valley, and then creeps back up the mountainside As the sky explodes in reddish hues Bouquets or aromas spawn deep slow breaths Evening dance in motion, I’m mesmerized Cool spots pop up like bubbles on water As I shudder I reach down and touch my ankle tops While you sigh and lean in on me Hold, hold on, there’s no where I’d rather be Hold, hold on, there’s no one I’d rather see Hold, hold on, and nothing will break us Hold, hold on, and nothing will take us away from here I say, you say – life can be so intoxicating You say, I say – I find these moments so exhilarating I say, you say – a heartfelt chat would be so invigorating You say, I say – quiet times are surprisingly scintillating This is where we belong, taking comfort in natures song Our eyes fixed on the sky, on whose beauty we rely Final rays dip below the mountain The darkening sky highlights the fiery glow We strand and bid farewell to the show Hold, hold on, there’s no where I’d rather be Hold, hold on, there’s no one I’d rather see Hold, hold on, and nothing will break us Hold, hold on, and nothing will take us away from here I say, you say – life can be so intoxicating You say, I say – I find these moments so exhilarating I say, you say – a heartfelt chat would be so invigorating You say, I say – quiet times are surprisingly scintillating
7.
Who Will Lead 04:12
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Who Will Lead 1/3/02 They say he spoke for a generation took away their blinders and chains Gave life to a new generation a just prophet with rage Yet I find no footprints of courage, I see no vestige of change I see only a drugged out shyster, that sought only fortune and fame The more he could do the quieter he became Goals and ideals readily did fade Many years have gone by the social world is in decay The village voice has become the village idiot, led so many astray Instead of emancipation we only see pain A life of degradation is on the rise again The bridge has torn away, stranded, some escape some pray Who will lead, will end misery? We need a new voice to start a new flame Someone who won’t sell out for some small change We need a new plan free of exploitation We need a strong hand to unite this generation We need to act not just complain We need to share, treat everyone the same Let the dead die away Make the users stop their game What we need is common sense, what we need is compassion What I want is a better world, what I want is for everyone We don’t need old ideas of competition and pain We don’t need old solutions of escapism and gain We don’t need old ideals, no idols that lead astray We don’t need old solutions that divide and betray Who will lead, will end misery?
8.
Someone Will Die Tonight 03:31
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Someone Must Die Tonight 3/19/03 Someone will die tonight For they worship the wrong god Live in the wrong land We know they hate us We must free them Someone must die tonight For they may hurt us Or threaten our freedom So we must teach them a lesson We must free them Many will die tonight They speak another language They fail in understanding That we are the good men Many must die tonight For they won’t do as we say They do it the wrong way They are morally inferior We must free them Why are they so evil? God pity their envious hearts God bless America Help us kill them We must free them
9.
Beyond My Dreams 06:10
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Beyond My Dreams 1/5/1983 There is a woman how unfolds my heart She came like a whisper the song of a lark Her way is patient, delicate and brave I only pray my love’s that way If I could only give her what she gives to me Could I ever give her what she gives to me? If I be granted one talent beyond my strength it would be To have her feel the beauty that she is All thru life I have dreamt how I want to love She puts those dreams to shame You have me live beyond my dreams Love beyond my dreams Beyond my dreams where we belong The land of love beyond song The goal of the poet is in her eyes Her beauty as natural as a harvest sky My words too frail my heart too crude My voice too clumsy to fashion you All my life I will strive to be my very best For only then will I be deserving of your love Help me find within myself the beauty that you are Help me show the world our sacred love You have me live beyond my dreams Love beyond my dreams Beyond my dreams where we belong The land of love beyond song
10.
Fetus 05:32
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Fetus 12/28/1978 As she battles hard with the childhood that never ends Spends her time tending to her chores Watering the strange plants that make up her little den Nothing else near her seems to grow Watching life that comes too near you, try to escape its gaze Feeling awkward your every movement, feeling so ashamed The plants they avoid attention, you keep them tucked away But when eyes, they focus on you, you wish you could do the same Daily she punishes herself for the embarrassment she caused her mom By being nothing and no one No matter what she did she did it all so wrong Feared mom’s icy smile of one that’s bearing pain Something gave way deep inside her when her mom was away Everyone talked of the crashing windows that shattered their day Time had stopped for this timid flower led away by the hand No one noticed strewn on cement, some plants were dead Piercing fragments go speeding on Memories like daggers plunging down Torture the fetus that she was Never trusting that she was more than a worthless piece of flesh Form letter affection that she received Fragile embraces made her feel like slime Repulsive and repugnant lady of straw An odor followed her thru her life that explained how nature treated her Fetus
11.
Solemn Plea 04:24
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A Solemn Plea 9/30/91 Slowly I take her hand but my heart can give no comfort Her tears I’ve felt before mired in a life of deception Success she explains to me Comes to those, only to those who know no caution Why is it getting harder to live with all the lies? Why is it getting harder to stand by her side and believe? You know I’ve always been there for you, been there drying your eyes Helping you get what you wanted what you always wanted Now the laughter is gone and the hurt is all you ever think of Your quest to be the best keeps us climbing ever higher But love the more we get the less we seem to have For I only want you, I don’t need money, let’s stop all the running Love, come with me, let’s do what it takes to make us happy I’d rather be poor than hurt anybody, I just want to be good I just want to share my life with you I just want us to feel good Tonight, hear my plea, make this solemn pact with me Not to do anything we could be ashamed of, no matter what the gains are Love share with me a sacred vision of humanity How could that be a mistake love, I’m talking about being kind I don’t want to use anybody

about

One of the hallmarks of wisdom is the ability to see and appreciate things form different perspectives. In this way, wisdom is the very opposite of being prejudiced or close minded. Wisdom is acquired through making observations and seeing patterns of human behavior, both its beauty and folly, and everything in between.

Ambivalence is the emotional equivalent of wisdom. Ambivalence is the ability to entertain a multitude of emotions, often conflicting, at the same moment. Ambivalence may cause discomfort and confusion in some, just as can multiple perspectives. Yet, for the wise and those enthralled with life, ambivalence is a means by which life becomes richer, deeper and more intimate.

Ambivalence is at the core of our ability to feel empathy and compassion. Wisdom involves both thought and feeling, and ambivalence is what allows us to see our feelings from the perspective of others and to help us experience the world in ever more life affirming ways.

Wisdom is the ability to embrace various thoughts and ideas and be able to weave them into a healthy and life affirming context, and ambivalence is the ability to embrace various feelings and emotions and be able to weave them into a coherent and loving life world.

The songs on this album contain many different emotional perspectives and landscapes often within a single verse). They contain hope as well as desperation, confusion as well as clarity, love as well as hate, and doubt as well paranoia. Orchestrally too, you will experience much ambivalence, sometimes simply express with minor dissonance, yet also just in contrary thematic tendencies and diverse instrumental timbres.

If, while listening to the songs and reading the lyrics, you have an ambivalent response to the album remember that's a good thing.

credits

released January 3, 2017

Words and music by Jim Guido. Album cover design by Dayna Guido. Cover art by Maria Epes. Please go www.mariaepes.com to experience more of her art work.
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GuidoWorld Asheville, North Carolina

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